The countdown is on to my retirement day - 8-31-2011!

Well, it's August 1st and my last day of full time work is August 31, 2011.  It is hard to believe I am going to retire at 50 - but I am OK with that.  It will be very, very strange at first.  I have been here since I was 18 years old so I have earned it - it is just very weird to say it out loud.  So much is happening at one time that I hope my mind is ready to deal with everything.  I am retiring, and my baby is starting college and moving out in 2 weeks.  That is the one I am concerned with.  I cannot imagine her anywhere else but home; how will I be with that empty room? How will she be - she scares easily so I hope she is ready.  She seems to have a great apartment complex and the ladies there are looking out for her.  But, she is my baby......and that says it all. 

Set them free, let them fly.....

Letting you go just because you are 18 is akin to me driving to the middle of nowhere, stopping the car, pushing you out and hoping and praying you will find your way back.  It is something I am supposed to do, but it is the most difficult thing ever.  It would be easier to cut my arm open and let the blood drain out slowly.  I did not go through this with my mother so I can't go back and remember how I felt.  I just know how I feel now.  I keep hearing "you have to let them go" and all I can say is "I can't."  I don't know how.  I want to hold her tight to know she is safe and protect her always.  Isn't that what moms are supposed to do?

Set them free, let them fly, watch them fall and get back up again.  The  most difficult thing I have ever done.

First ever post!

This is my first ever blog post!  It has taken me weeks to get up the courage to put something together.  Nothing like being a little (alot) pissed off to energize a person - I wonder why that is?

Let me introduce myself - my name is Tina and I'm 50 years old.  I am married and have been for 28 years.  I have two beautiful daughters that are 23 and 18.  I also have a granddaughter who is 3.  When God gave me my girls they stole my heart and they still have it today and always will - with the grand baby, it is even worse - but all in a good way :)

I started this blog for a way to reach out to people, perhaps selfishly at first, but maybe we can help each other.  I know there are others that have gone through the things my family has or perhaps I will be the one to offer insight on a dilemma.  To me it is constructive to see things through another's eyes because I know there are times I have blinders on (especially with my girls).  I need a voice - a public voice - to relay my thoughts, prayers, dreams, hopes, anguishes, triumphs, troubles, and to yell every now and then. 

The "durt* to ruffles" title is a tribute to my youngest daughter.   She was diagnosed dyslexic in high school.  It was a high school joke (will be discussed in another post) that she spelled the word dirt as "durt".  The durt* to ruffles is to show off her success; how she went from durt to ruffles.  She will enter college this Fall 2011.  I am very proud of her.  She is a treasure (I wish she believed that as much as I do).

Our goal (daughter and mine) is to have a little boutique someday.  We both have always been creative and we love arts and crafts, sewing, fashion, antiques, junking, etc.  We hope to put something together and have a funky little shop, maybe in our local downtown area.   The shop already has a name.......................
durt* to ruffles !!

I hope you will join me in this journey - although it might get a little bumpy sometimes!!